


The Rise of Kylo Ren

by TheLawyersKeeper



Series: Ben Solo's Guide to Misadventures in Smuggling [7]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Established Relationship, Evil Armitage Hux, Evil Snoke, F/M, Good Parent Han Solo, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Loss, Married Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Protective Ben Solo, Protective Han Solo, Temporary Character Death, Torture, Wakes & Funerals, Widowed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:20:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22792387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLawyersKeeper/pseuds/TheLawyersKeeper
Summary: "Are we ready General Hux?" Hux nodded, gesturing to the Knights who opened up the floor hatch, raising a large beskar tube. they activated the door and a hulking beast of a man stepped out of the smoke, dressed in all black with a haunting black mask over his face. Snoke grinned maniacally as the Knights came to stand on either side of the hooded shadow."Welcome to your destiny, Kylo Ren." The masked figure activated his saber and the Knights let out deep shouts, kneeling in front of the man with the unstable crossguard who stood motionless, unnerving even Hux.But under the mask, the tears slid silently down Ben Solo's scarred face.
Relationships: Ben Solo & Han Solo, Leia Organa & Rey, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Luke Skywalker & Han Solo, Poe Dameron & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron & Rey, Rey & Han Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Ben Solo's Guide to Misadventures in Smuggling [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1611718
Comments: 23
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is sad

“Supreme Leader, we’ve encountered another signal about thirty parsecs out.” The ensign looked at Snoke hesitantly as he sat in his throne room, his red guards impassive to the younger man’s fear.

In the centre of the room, Rey floated horizontally, arms and legs bound and hair long falling out of her buns as she shook in agony. Her nose and ears were both bleeding, she was covered in sweat and tears and had long since run out of the strength to scream.

She wouldn’t crack though, wouldn’t give them a reason to get Ben. She clenched her fists as she willed her breathing to even out, grateful of the ensign’s presence as it allowed her a reprieve of her torture.

“Are we able to identify the signature of the craft?” it was Hux who spoke, and Rey thought fleetingly that she hadn’t realized that he was there. She wondered if it meant those horrible Knights were in the room too. Not that she’d be able to move to see them anyways. The voices around her faded into the background as she focused on the image of dimpled smiles and warm honey brown eyes, sleep rough words and strong arms. She closed her eyes, sighing deeply as she accepted her fate.

She was going to die here.

* * *

“We’ve got a signal about thirty parsecs out” Poe murmured, looking over his shoulder at his friend and hating what looked back at him.

Ben was dressed in his black protective gear, similar to their rescue on Pandor months ago. He was inspecting his bled saber with cold eyes, body held rigidly and Poe thought fleetingly that he reminded him a little too much of those images of Vader in their history holos. Poe waited until his friend turned, hoping to see some of that familiar spark in his friend’s eyes as he turned to look at the man he’d grown up with as a brother.

But there was no life in the brown orbs.

Ben stepped up, looking down at the screen as he spoke in a dark and clipped tone.

“What’s the signature?” Finn spoke up from where he was co-piloting, Han and Chewie below deck preparing their weapons.

“Don’t know, but she’s _big_ ” Ben nodded once, holstering his saber as a voice rang in his head.

_You know it’s her. Who else could it be?_

“Go to hyperspeed, I want us there yesterday” Poe looked at Finn nervously, they’d been jumping in and out of hyperdrive for days, the Falcon needed a break.

“Ben, pal I don’t think-“

“I didn’t ask you to _think_ , Commander Dameron, I _told_ you to put her in hyperspeed” Poe flinched at the tone as Ben stormed out of the cockpit, muttering about letting Han and Chewie know about the jump. Finn turned to him and muttered softly.

“Poe, man I don’t think we can trust him right now” Poe swallowed thickly, unwilling to believe the ex-trooper was right as he prepared her for hyperspeed.

“He’s just worried, he’ll come around once we get there” but even as he said it, Poe could feel his own doubt curling in the pit of his stomach.

Over the twenty plus years of friendship, Poe had seen every aspect of Ben. Cocky Ben, Scared Ben, Angry Ben. There were very little aspects of his best friend he didn’t recognize.

This Ben wasn’t one he’d ever seen before. He was cold, calculated and _dark_.

And that had Poe terrified.

* * *

They’d been following the traces of Empire ships for the better part of a week, and Ben was about ready to snap.

He’d tried to find Rey through their bond, but he was always met with a wall. The first time he’d been so panicked they’d had to get Luke over the system to explain that if she was dead Ben would feel a silence, not a blockage.

It was likely Rey was protecting him from whatever was happening, shielding him from whatever she was feeling.

Ben wasn’t entirely sure what was worse.

He stared at his saber and heard that damned voice in his head again.

_Use your anger boy, cut down all who stand in your way._

“I will” he murmured, feeling his fury rise in his body, his arms shaking.

_No one will survive your rage._

Ben shook his head, eyes hardening as they jolted to hyperspeed.

“No one.”

* * *

_“What about here? This looks like a good spot!” Rey pointed to another place of sparkling silver sand, a little ways away from the rest of the Pandoran beach-goers. Ben was a few steps behind her, hand loosely in hers as they walked along the shore._

_Ben had a nasty set of bruised ribs after their run in with that Hutt mobster two days ago, so when she’d suggested in passing that they stay for an extra few days she’d been surprised when he’d said yes._

_“Ben? Whattya think?” she turned when she felt the tug on her hand, indicating that Ben had stopped walking. She glanced over and smiled as he gazed at her, brown eyes wide._

_“What?” he swallowed thickly, almost as though he was preparing himself and cleared his throat before whispering out hoarsely._

_“Marry me” Rey’s eyes went wide as he stared at her, terrified of her silence as she gaped. Logically, after being together for almost four years she didn’t understand why she was shocked at the words but still._

_“What did you say?” she breathed out her question like a prayer as Ben laughed nervously._

_“I planned something more romantic, dinner and flowers and a ring but I don’t want to wait anymore. I’m in love with you Rey, I have been since the day I met you – even before that I think. I don’t want to spend another day without you, I want to marry you, Rey. I want to spend forever with you” he squeezed her hands and she broke out into a huge smile, eyes welling over with tears._

_“Whattya say, wanna maybe travel the galaxy with me and smuggle stuff forever?” she let out a breathless laugh at Ben’s attempted humour, dropping her bag and jumping into his arms, brushing his hair out of his face as he held her, grip never wavering as she wrapped her legs around his waist._

_“Yes, yes of course I will” Ben let out his own laugh and Rey could feel the tension bleed out of him as she pulled him in for a passionate kiss._

_“I love you Ben Solo”_

* * *

“Oh, how _touching_ ” Rey blinked her eyes open, glaring at the Supreme Leader as the memory faded away. She gritted her teeth as he began rifling through her memories with Ben, watching with amusement as though it were some film.

“Stop it! Get out of there!” she attempted to block him and he laughed.

“This is quite enjoyable to me, paints such a pretty picture” Rey snarled and Snoke looked at her smugly.

“You know I won’t give in, why don’t you just kill me?” Snoke cackled in surprise and turned to Hux.

“You didn’t tell her, did you?” Hux shook his head, arms behind his back.

“No Supreme Leader, I felt it would be best to come from you” Rey looked at the General out of the corner of her eyes as Snoke leaned down to be eye-level.

“My dear girl, as you’ve probably already put together, you’re not the one we want” Rey looked at him as she tried to swallow her dread.

“You see, your husband, the grandson of Vader, has a unique power source. Your Dyad makes you two halves of the same whole. Both powerful beyond any measure. Unseen for Generations. But, as fierce and formidable as the young Solo is, there is one blind spot he has. And that’s you my dear” Rey swallowed thickly as tears filled her eyes. She hated his words, the vile way he twisted her husband’s loyalty into a weakness.

She hated that he was absolutely right.

“Your beloved Benjamin would do _anything_ to make sure his sweetheart got home. Even if it meant making a deal with me” Rey shook her head.

“He won’t, he knows what’s at stake. He’d _never_ ” Snoke invaded her mind again, Rey screaming as the memory of the attack on the palace filled her mind. Ben blindly following her back into the crumbling building without hesitation. She was barraged with her husband’s image, strangling Senator Goll for calling her a whore, killing the Tusken Raiders on Tatooine.

If Ben’s moral compass always pointed True North, it was as clear as day that she was one powerful magnet.

Snoke leaned down next to her ear as she cried in helplessness.

“Tell me, Rey of Jakku, how quickly do you think he will take my hand once I promise to stop all your pain?” Snoke moved away cackling as Rey sobbed, Hux standing impassively in the corner.

* * *

Ben watched emotionlessly as they dropped out of hyperspeed, the Falcon groaning in protest. Finn shared a nervous glance with Poe as he spoke.

“Why aren’t they firing at us?” Ben cleared his throat, moving towards the ramp as Poe brought the Falcon ever closer to the dreadnought, the word _Finalizer_ ominously written on the side.

“Because they’re expecting us, it’s a trap” Ben’s voice was clipped and calm, eyes hard as Han stepped up next to him.

“Finn, you stay here, keep our ride running, Poe, you and Ben will go try to scavenge as much information for Leia as we can. Chewie and I will get Rey” Finn looked at the older Solo in confusion and Ben spoke up.

“They’ll be expecting me to go get her, it’s what they want. They won’t be ready for them because they’re prepared for me” Finn nodded in reluctant understanding and took over the controls, flying them as close as he could.

“Be careful, I’m dropping off four, but we leave with five” the men all nodded, air heavy as Ben stepped to the front of the ramp, activating his saber as it lowered.

“Time to shine fellas”.

* * *

Rey was still sobbing on the floor, too weak to move as Hux looked down at her unimpressed.

“You know, I had expected more from the apprentice of Luke Skywalker” he kicked at her side as she ignored him. Slipping in and out of lucidity, she attempted to roll away from him and he laughed, using his foot to roll her onto her stomach.

“There you go, go on, try to get away. I bet you won’t get far” she rolled onto her side, trying to crawl away as he laughed mockingly, reaching down to grab her ankle and dragging her back.

“What, can’t use the Force to save you?” Rey let out a pained cry, the two stopping at the sound of blaster fire in the hallway.

“Oh look, here comes prince charming now-“

“Who are you calling _Charming_?” Hux turned, just as he was nailed in the shoulder with a blaster, Chewie letting out a mighty growl as Rey looked up with a relieved cry.

“H-Han?” Han immediately knelt in front of her with a soft smile.

“Yeah darlin’ let’s get you home okay?” Rey nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck as he hoisted her up into his arms.

“Okay” her eyes rolled back and Han looked at Chewie nervously.

“Let’s get the he-“ the ship suddenly rocked and a horrible sound game over the PA System.

_“Self-destruct initiated, Evacuate immediately. Self-destruct in Five Minutes”_

Han and Chewie shared a look as Ben suddenly barged through the door with Poe on his heels. Ben immediately scooped Rey out of his father’s arms.

“Ben” she let out a sob as she slurred his name and Ben cradled to his chest as Poe held his hands up, addressing the group as Ben pressed his face down to hers, noticing her eyes struggle to focus.

“I’ve got you, m’with you sweetheart, you’re safe now”.

“Okay, so the self-destruct is my bad, but we gotta go now” the four turned and froze as the Knights of Ren opened the door. Ben tightened his hold on Rey and Poe stepped in front of them.

“Let’s dance boys.”

* * *

Ben flinched again from his position under the control panel, the explosions were rocking the ship, and the Knights had backed them into a corner.

His small mercy was that Poe had been on the other side of the room then the first incendiaries of the Self-destruct had happened, it had given him little choice but to follow Ben’s orders to get to the Falcon. Another blast sent Han flying down next to him, bleeding from a blaster wound to the shin as Chewie dropped down on his other side. Rey curled herself deeper into his arms, Ben turning his attention away from where Chewie and Han were desperately trying to figure out a way out. He turned his attention back to the woman in his arms and kissed the top of her head as she murmured.

"Y-you know, if you ignore the f-fact that everything around us is on f-fire, i-its kinda l-like we're at h-home, sitting in t-the living room" Ben smiled wetly, laughing at Rey's weak attempt at humour. Snoke had tortured her for days trying to get information on the resistance and she hadn't waivered.

But it had come at a cost.

He cradled her to him, holding her head to his chest as he looked around them, everything slowing down as the situation settled on him like the weight of his wife against him. Chewie was to his left, firing his blaster at the Knights that just kept coming. To his right, his father was wrapping a blast to his wound quickly before returning to fire back.

_You know what you have to do_

Ben squeezed her lethargically, hating the voice in his head.

_Do it for Rey._

Rey who couldn't walk, in fact she could barely stand. He pressed his face into her hair, breathing in deeply and closing his eyes to commit her to memory.

One last time.

* * *

Rey stirred as Ben gently pulled her back, pressing their noses together and looking deep into her eyes as he cupped her cheek.

"Do you remember when we went to Pasaana?" Rey laughed weakly against him, smiling groggily as she faded in and out of lucidity.

"The Aki-Aki festival..." Ben nodded, smiling one of his smiles Rey believed was just for her. She clumsily reached up and held his face. She'd been afraid to die, but now, with Ben here, it didn't seem so scary.

"And we accidentally walked through the field of colour?" Rey coughed out a laugh, nudging their noses together. At first they'd tried to escape it, but when they realized they were covered either way they'd decided to have fun.

Ben pecked her lips lightly, running his thumb under her eye as the explosions and shouting around them faded into a buzz in the back of her mind.

"We were trying to get out of it, and you turned around and got hit right in the face with that blue powder and I was so sure you were going to maim someone - and then you laughed, this real, happy laugh and it was like the world slowed down, it was the first time I'd heard you laugh like that. That's when I _knew_ Rey, that's when I knew that I couldn't live one day without you" he gave her a gentle shake and she smiled, tearing up even though she didn't fully understand what was happening.

Ben thanked the stars for that small blessing, it meant she wouldn't fight him.

"I love you, I love you _so much_ " his wife hummed up at him, eyes closing in contentment as she caught a lock of hair between her fingers. Ben bit down on his tongue to fight back the sob in his throat at her unconscious action. Just like when they were in bed.

"I love you too Ben" he pressed her face into the crook of his neck, looking over her head as he rocked her gently to catch his dad's eyes.

* * *

"Dad..." He gently passed Rey off to Chewie, who looked at him uncomprehendingly as Han began shaking his head, voice cracking.

"No. _No._ We wait this out-"

"Rescue won't get here in time, this whole thing's going to blow" Han grabbed the side of Ben's head, a twinge of desperation in the hold.

"We stay together kid" Ben looked at his father and hating the low blow he was about to deliver.

"You'd rather leave mom alone?" Han was shaking, tears rolling unchecked from his eyes as Ben let out another watery laugh.

"I'm the only one here who can handle a red saber, I was made for this" the humour fell flat and Han looked at him fiercely, devastation pouring off him in waves as he realized his son was right. He was their only way out.

"You were made for so much more Benji" Ben flinched at the nickname, having not heard it since he was a small child. Han pulled him forward, pressing their foreheads tightly together as the Solo men allowed themselves a moment to grieve for themselves. Ben gripped his dad's jacket tightly, choking out like a scared child.

"Take care of her for me?" Han pet his son's hair affectionately, coughing on his own sob as he committed his boy's face to memory.

"You know I will" Ben smiled, closing his eyes and giving one last squeeze to his dad's coat, whimpering as Han kissed the top of his head.

"I am so proud of you kid. You're the best thing I've ever had" Ben reluctantly pulled away and raised his hand, summoning his own saber across the room. Chewie looked over, his own realization dawning as Ben leaned down to kiss Rey's cheek one more time.

"Goodbye sweetheart" with that, he hopped over the destroyed control panel, activating the saber as he yelled over his shoulder.

"Go now!"


	2. Chapter 2

Rey blinked awake at the lips on her head. She groggily moved to reach out for him, only let out a desperate cry as she watched her husband’s back leap into the fray. The angry sounds of lightsabers crashing against one another making her sensitive head pound. Han pulled her away, yelling at Chewie as he turned the corner.

"Grab Rey, we've gotta go!" Han limped to his feet, turning back and watching as his son fought the Knights back.

"Please someone, save my son" he whispered, turning back as Chewie heaved Rey over his shoulder. She balanced one hand on his back, the other reaching out to her husband as Hux came up behind him, his own saber in hand.

"Ben!" The world slowed around her as Ben spun back to her the two locking eyes for the briefest of seconds.

But that was all Hux needed to thrust his weapon deep into Ben's chest.

"No!" Rey's shrill cry caused Han to look over, screaming as Hux twisted the kyber into the Prince's chest. Ben's saber falling from his hands as Hux leaned in to whisper in his ear. Ben’s knees buckled, leaning against Hux’s shoulder as he jerked. But Rey couldn't hear what was being said.

Chewie grabbed both Solos, letting out his own roar at the sight of the boy he loved crumple to his knees. Ben's head rolled to the side and he locked eyes with the Wookie.

"Chewie, p-please" Chewie cried as he threw Han over his other shoulder, rushing out the door and pretending the screams in his ears weren't real.

_"Ben!"._

* * *

Poe froze as Chewie ran at him full speed, Han over one shoulder sobbing hysterically, Rey unconscious on the other. Chewie ran up the ramp, yelling in anguish as Poe furrowed his brows at Chewie’s words.

“What? No, wait here, I gotta go get him!” Poe charged down the ramp and Finn suddenly grabbed him.

“Poe! It’s gunna blow we gotta go” Poe let out a yell as desperation filled his chest, augmented by Han’s hideous sobbing.

“I’m sorry man, but we gotta go – Chewie grab the ramp!” Poe turned to the Wookie, screaming out angrily.

“ _No Chewie wait_ – I can get him! I can _get him_ Ben!” Han heaved again and Rey began to come around.

“B-Ben?” Finn looked at her with tear-filled eyes and waved a hand, putting her back to sleep.

“M’sorry, I’m so sorry” Han buried his face into his hands and Chewie blasted off, Poe screaming from his headlock in Finn’s arms as he watched the _Finalized_ blow up.

_“Ben!”_

* * *

“General Organa, they’re back!” Leia looked at Kaydel as she, Luke and Amilyn rushed to the hangar. Leia immediately grabbed Luke as the anguished yell of Chewie echoed through the hangar.

“C-Chewie?” Leia immediately ran to the group, doing a mental head count.

Chewie was stumbling out of the ship, carrying Han who was shaking with wide eyes as Poe raced down the ramp, ripping at his hair and heaving as he said over and over again that he needed to _go back_. Finn brought up the rear, carrying a limp Rey in his arms as he cried in a broken voice for a medic. That was five-

Where was Ben?

Leia felt the slow hole beginning to open up in her chest, right where the joyful image of her little boy used to be. She stumbled past Poe and grabbed Han.

“Han, _Han_ where’s Ben, where’s our boy?” she shook him and Han looked at her in shock.

“H-he’s gone, stars he’s _gone_ ” Leia shook her head, tears running unchecked from her eyes as she grabbed his shirt.

“No, no you’re wrong, I would’ve _felt_ it. Where’s our boy Han?” Han curled into her arms, clinging to her tightly.

“He saved us, he saved all of us, and he’s _gone_ ” Leia sobbed, falling into his arms as her legs buckled. Han sobbed into her hair as the medics took Rey away.

Amilyn looked at Luke with tears in her eyes, Luke trying to control his own emotions as the reality began to play out around him. His nephew was dead.

The Dyad was broken.

* * *

Rey pressed her face further into the pillow, deeply inhaling her husband's scent as her eyes fluttered open. She breathed in deeply and furrowed her brows in confusion.

She was in the palace.

She looked down at the pillow she was snuggling and realized it had one of Ben's shirts pulled over it, like a pillowcase. She slowly propped herself up on one elbow, holding a hand to her head as she looked down. At the mop of black hair by her hip, the owner slumped over on the plush chair pulled next to the bed.

"B-Ben?" Her throat was so dry and her head was pounding. She just wanted it to stop hurting.

Her napping guardian's head snapped up and Rey blinked slowly at the sight of Poe Dameron in her bedroom.

"Poe?..." He smiled genuinely, but his eyes were swollen and bloodshot and his clothes were filthy, not to mention the cuts and bruises all over his hands and face.

"Hey, _hey darlin_ , how ya feelin'?" She rubbed at her head, the arm she was propping herself up with beginning to shake with how weak she was.

Pieces were beginning to fall together, Snoke, General Hux. The torture.

"Like I got hit by a Blurrg. How long have I been out?" Poe gently guided her back down to the bed, fluffing her pillows and pulling the shirt-pillow closer.

"About 3 days, you'll be sore for a while but you should be back in your feet in a few weeks" Rey nodded, now fully awake as she scanned the bedroom.

"Where's Ben?" She tried to sit up and Poe pushed her back down again gently.

"Just go back to sleep Rey, we'll talk when you wake up again." But he wasn't looking her in the eye. In fact, it looked like he was crying.

She forced herself into a seated position, Poe grabbing at her as she tried to get out of bed.

"Poe, where's Ben? I need to see Ben!" A sob escaped her husband's best friend and panic began to take over Rey. Memories suddenly flashing in her head like horrible fireworks.

_Do you remember Pasaana?_

She fought the memory back, uncoordinated as she tried to fend off Poe. Her chest heaving in desperation as the tears fell unchecked from both adults.

"Please, _please_ I need to see Ben! _Ben!?_ Poe I want Ben!" Poe let out another cry as the door opened, a broken Han Solo entering the room and sliding between her and Poe to sit on the bed by her hip. She bit her lip and looked at her father in law with desperate eyes, briefly glancing over his shoulder in the hope that her tall love would darken the doorway with his presence.

But he never came.

"Where's Ben? Please I need Ben" Han rested a hand on her shoulder, ignoring Poe who'd pressed his hand to his lips to control himself.

"Ben's gone sunshine, he didn't make it home" Rey leaned away from him, shaking her head in confused denial. Although even as he said it the horrific memory fought its way to the surface.

_Goodbye sweetheart._

"No. No, he's not. Where's Ben, I want Ben - _I want Ben,_ I want Ben. _Ben!?_ " She grabbed violently at the older man, who sat there lifelessly as she slapped his chest and shook him, screaming herself raw before collapsing against his chest.

" _Please_ , please I just want Ben" Han rocked her back and forth, squeezing his eyes shut against the horrible sound of her wailing as she gripped his shirt so tightly he was sure it would rip.

Poe stumbled out of the bedroom desperately, collapsing to his knees in the hallway as his body wracked with sobs, each cry of the widow in the next room slicing even deeper into his heart.

* * *

It was another two days before Leia was able to gather enough strength to see her daughter in law. They were falling apart as a family, and Leia had lose count of how many times in the past week she’d thought she’s seen her boy’s long hair as he dashed around a corner.

She and Luke had meditated for a day, trying to find Ben’s spirit in the Force. But he couldn’t be found. Luke had for the briefest of moments implied that maybe he had been further gone to the Sith than they’d thought.

Leia was confident she’d broken her brother’s nose.

Rose had taken up the funeral preparations, and the entire planet was in mourning. Amilyn had taken over care of the Senate, but the Empire was silent. All they needed to do now was grieve.

Leia wasn’t built for grieving, she had always been the one to throw herself into her work, save the galaxy, she could cry later.

But there was no galaxy currently needing saving. And she had run out of tears.

She squared her shoulders as she looked at herself in the mirror, wiping at her swollen eyes and clearing her throat. She could envision her son at sixteen on her bed, tossing his father’s gold dice in the air over and over again as he tilted his head over the edge to look at his mom.

* * *

_“You oughtta smile more mom” Leia smirked, turning around and sitting on the bed by her son’s head, ruffling his hair as he grumbled, waving at her with a lanky arm._

_“Oh really? And why should I do that?” Ben looked at her with his big brown eyes, he’d been having nightmares again. And with Han away on a run it had fallen to Leia to become the defender of her son’s dreams. He’d been excellent in his lessons, studying his diplomacy even though she knew he hated it._

_Almost as much as she hated running to his room at three in the morning to silence the screaming._

_“Because it makes people feel easier” a light pink tinted his ears and she looked at him in confusion._

_“What do you mean darling?” Ben shrugged, turning back to the dice as he muttered._

_“Just makes people feel like everything’s gunna be okay you know?” Leia registered the unspoken words and smiled at him softly, leaning down to kiss his forehead as he looked at her._

_“That’s because it will be okay, no matter what” Ben nodded, allowing his mother to pull his head into her lap with a good natured huff as she ran her hand through his hair._

_Maybe she could offer the same support her husband could. She just had to do it differently._

_“I promise I’ll smile more” Ben nodded, turning his head a little closer into her stomach as he resolutely did not look at her – for the sake of his teenage reputation._

_“Good.”_

* * *

“Get out." Leia flinched at the lifeless tone from the bed, looking with swollen eyes at the heap in the centre.

Rey was curled in her bed, dressed in Ben's sleepwear and layered with his different clothes - both his smuggler flannels and his regal robes. She was using his wedding cape as a blanket and from the messy hair Leia knew it was safe to assume that she had been laying there since Chewie had dragged a hysterical Han and Rey off the Falcon three days before.

 _"You may have felt it Leia, but you didn't see it. You didn't see it._ " Han's voice rang through her head, her husband hadn't been sober since it happened, Rey was catatonic and Leia was unable to stop herself from crying. Leia squared her shoulders and slowly stepped into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed and resting a hand on her hip as the widow faced away.

"Rey..." Rey bit her lip, hard enough to draw blood as her mother in law began to rub her back gently. She kept her doe-eyes trained out the window at the stars as Leia began speaking softly.

"He loved you so much you know," Leia let out a watery laugh as she looked at the holophoto on the nightstand of the two of them on their wedding day, forcing herself to smile as she gazed at the image.

Ben had Rey clean off the ground, arms under her backside as her legs kicked back, she was holding his face in her hands and the two were laughing brightly as they gazed into each other's eyes.

"I never heard him laugh as much as he did when he was with you-" she was cut off as the sob Rey had been holding in finally let itself out in an anguished wail.

"I want him back, just five more minutes _please_ " Leia moved herself against the headboard, pulling the distraught woman into her arms as she cried so hard her throat tore.

"I'm so alone. He left me alone" Leia shushed her, trying to keep herself from completely falling apart as she ran a hand through her hair.

"You're not alone Rey, you'll never be alone. You're our family now, you're our little girl and we'll all stay together okay?" Rey wailed as Leia peppered kisses to the crown of her head, letting her own sob slip.

"You, me and Han, Chewie and Lando. Even the droids. We're family okay, we'll get through this together Rey I promise" Rey gripped the older woman's arm desperately, burning her face in her stomach.

"It hurts, it hurts so much. I wish I could die too, I just want Ben" Leia finally lost control of her own emotions, merely rocking the girl back and forth as they sobbed into the night.

* * *

On the terrace swing, Han was wailing into Chewie's shoulder and Luke Skywalker was in his quarters smashing everything in sight. Guilt making itself a home in his body as he yelled again.

All those times when Ben needed him, the little boy with nightmares and calligraphy sets. All the times he’d begged for help controlling the darkness that he didn’t want to fall to. Every time Luke had turned him away, deemed him a lost cause.

That same little boy had stood alone against the best trained Sith warriors in the current galaxy, knowing he was going to die.

It was a strength Luke knew he wouldn’t have had.

Luke slammed his saber through his couch, letting out his own wail at the loss of soulful child with the sad eyes.

They’d all failed him. And his fate became their fault as a result.

“I’m so sorry Ben, forgive me. Please forgive me”.

* * *

"I would like to wear my wedding dress please" the royal dresser and Leia both stopped mid conversation, mulling over the different black gowns that had been set out. Ben's memorial service was in the morning, but this was the first time Rey had been out of bed for more than a run to the bathroom since returning to the base. They were back planetside on New Alderaan for the funeral, but Rey hadn't seen any of the sunrises she'd loved so much on this planet. Curtains drawn and curled around her husband's belongings as she pretended the gaping wound in her soul didn't exist.

When Leia had walked in with her lunch and found her sitting on the chaise clad in Ben's sleep pants and grey flannel (the last one he'd worn) she'd gently prompted her to accept the dresser coming in for a few moments, just long enough to have her outfit selected so she wouldn't have to do it the day of the funeral.

No one had dared to mention that it was supposed to be their wedding anniversary that day. Leia had remembered the lifeless monotone of her daughter in law as she'd looked at Rose's plans for the service.

_"That was the best day of my life, only fitting that it would also be the worst"._

Leia knew that Poe had been a rock for his friend's wife, but she could see the bags under his eyes, the hoarseness in his voice that only came from one cause. She hated the pain they were all in, but at the same time she wished with all she had that Ben could see this, see how adored he was.

The dresser looked at Leia hesitantly before turning to Rey with a cautious voice.

"With all due respect Lady Rey, your wedding dress was for a happy occasion-" Rey shook her head, sniffing as she spoke out again in a weak voice.

"Ben only ever saw me in that dress, I don't even like dresses" she let out a wet laugh, playing with her wedding ring as she looked off distantly.

"You can do my hair and everything else how you see fit. But I won't wear any other dress than my wedding gown." Rey didn't say that she never wanted to be in a dress he wouldn't see, didn't want to dress up ever again knowing she'd never see the brown eyes sparkle in delight.

She never wanted to experience the feeling of someone other than Ben snatching her train at the last second before it got caught on something, or wandered through the mud. She loathed the notion of another person looking at her telling her how beautiful she looked, knowing the one person she wanted to hear it from most would never say it again. Leia looked at her in understanding and nodded.

"Okay, wedding dress it is". Rey nodded listlessly, pressing her face into the flannel and breathing in the deep, spiced scent of her love, tears sliding down her cheeks, which were raw and red from the salt. She looked over at her mother in law for the briefest of moments before whispering out a tender thank you.


	3. Chapter 3

“Good morning, Senator Solo” Ben groaned as he regained consciousness, looking around him and realizing he was restrained to a metal chair. The saber wound in his chest was healed over and other than being _really_ sore he was fine.

He was _alive_.

He pulled at the restraints again as General Hux walked up to him, eyes glinting. Ben snarled as him and pulled at the restraints again.

“Where’s Rey? What have you done with my wife!?” Hux snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Nothing, we never wanted some little _Scavenger,_ she’s nothing to us – but _you,_ you will bring about the rise of the Empire the likes of which your grandfather could only dream of.” Ben spit at him and glared with dark eyes.

“You’re wasting your time, I won’t break to a pathetic underling like you.”

“That’s why you’ll be working with me, my dear boy” Ben froze, watching as Snoke glided his chair into the room.

“Can’t even stand like a man to do your dirty work huh?” Snoke’s temper flared and Ben screamed as he ravaged his mind, slamming down his shields to protect his wife and the information on the Resistance. Snoke studied him with dark eyes.

“Stop struggling young Solo, we both know you’ll give into me” Ben shook his head, chest heaving and sweat beading along his forehead.

“No one’s looking for you, you’re _dead_ remember? No one is every going to even consider looking for you” the words hurt, and Ben felt the tantalizing feeling of hopelessness in his gut at the truth in the sentence.

“They’ve given up on you, I mean technically they did a long time ago – wrote you off as something _dirty_ and _contaminated_. But not your Rey, she’d _never_ write you off as the dark monster you are would she?” Ben felt his eyes fill with tears, swallowing them back stubbornly as Snoke invaded his senses again, Ben gritting his teeth to hold back a scream as he found all of the smuggler’s insecurities and presented them aloud.

“You’d do _anything_ to keep your little _sweetheart_ safe. Even if it means protecting her from herself” Ben looked at him with furrowed brows.

“What are you talking about?” Snoke turned to Hux, surprising him with an immediate dismissal and waiting until he was out of the room.

“You know of the true power your wife wields boy, don’t play stupid” Ben shook his head, eyes filled with confusion as he tried to pull away from the monster slowly inching closer to his face.

“You know who she is” Ben shook his head, even as the voices in his head began whispering the horrible word over and over again.

“Get out of my head!” Ben surged his strength as much as he could, knocking Snoke out of his mind for a moment, giving himself a reprieve to build his shields up again. Snoke snarled as he scrambled back over.

“You defiant child! You _dare_ to turn me away!” Ben glared at him angrily as he leaned down next to his face.

“I will break you down to nothing but the very _base_ of your existence, and when I’m done, you will kill everyone and everything you love” Ben stared him down as he pulled at the restraints again, screaming in pain as Snoke grabbed his face, barreling through his consciousness with his own scream of rage.

Ben’s eyes rolled back in his head as he felt the snap inside his head. He began convulsing violently against his restraints, mouth opening in closing involuntarily as the pain coursed through his body. Snoke snarled, grinning up at him evilly as he began to rifle through the information. Ben’s hands clenching and unclenching as he writhed on the table.

But Snoke never relented.

* * *

The service was beautiful, Rose had done an amazing job for her and Rey had to make sure to thank her later. Poe was a constant presence, holding Ben's spot on her right and fending off any unwanted condolences. She just couldn't deal with that right now. The procession was outside, and Rey steadfastly ignored the pitying looks as she wrapped Ben's large black cape around her body, staring down at the casket.

The empty casket.

Because Ben hadn't died at home, he hadn't even died in her arms. Ben was run through by General Armitage Hux on the catwalk of the Supremacy because someone had to stay behind to fend them off while Rey was carried to safety.

Ben died alone on an Empire dreadnought.

And it was all her fault.

The realization hit her like its own Force, causing her knees to buckle and she grabbed at Poe desperately as she went down. She could hear the scuffling behind her as people tried to figure out what had caused her collapse and Poe crouched next to her.

"C'mon Darlin, get up for me" she shook her head, finally overcome with the pain that had been floating around numbly for the past three days. She gritted her teeth to try to hold in her sob and dug her nails into the skin of Poe's forearm, causing him to hiss in pain. She turned to him to apologize, but as they looked at one another she opened her mouth and the most anguished wail Por had ever heard erupted from his best friend's widow.

The funeral goers remained silent, no one trying to stifle or quiet her as her hoarse screams echoed through the garden. No one made a sound as Poe finally let out a sob with her, the heartbreak moving through the crowd until the sobs could be heard everywhere.

Ben Solo, smuggler extraordinaire and Prince of New Alderaan was gone. And the hole he'd left behind was gaping.

* * *

The family sat silently in Han and Leia’s quarters, just the three of them and Chewie. Luke sighed heavily and slowly spoke up.

“We still need to find the blade” Leia nodded sadly as Han sighed, burying his face in his hands. Rey however suddenly froze, going rigid next to the Wookie as she slowly turned to the Jedi Master, a low growl rumbling in her throat.

“The blade? I just buried and _empty casket_ and you’re worried about a _blade_?” Leia watched hesitantly as Rey stumbled to her feet, eyes wild as she looked down at him. She was a sight to behold, hair done in elaborate braids, chest heaving under the wedding gown as her hands curled into fists.

“How _dare_ you! How _dare_ you choose the death of my _husband_ to further your agenda – _my love is dead and you care about a **blade**_!?” Leia gently shoved Han back as Luke rose to meet her. Her rage was palpable in the room, but Luke knew he wouldn’t fight back.

He knew it wasn’t about the blade, it was the all-encompassing loneliness that was sitting in her soul.

“Rey-“

_“Shut up! You don’t know anything! You never cared about him. Never! And now he’s gone! He’s gone and you don’t care!”_ Luke stood silently, eyes filling with tears as her shrill voice became harder to understand, glaring at him as tears fell freely from her face.

_“It should have been you! It should’ve been **me**! I don’t deserve to be here and neither do you!” _Leia attempted to intervene but Luke waved her away.

“It’s alright Leia, it’s okay” Leia wiped at her tears as Rey snarled, beginning to advance on her Master with dark eyes.

_“I hate you. I hate **all** of you!” _it happened before Luke could notice it, Rey shooting her hand up and firing bright blue bolts through the room, right into Luke’s chest and knocking him unconscious.

Rey gasped, covering her hands with her mouth as she realized what she’d done. Leia and Han gaping at her in horror.

“Rey…” but the widow shook her head, turning to Han as he approached her.

“Stay away, don't you dare follow me” and with that, Rey turned on her heel and rushed from the room, barricading herself in her quarters.

* * *

Ben’s screams rang through the halls of the _Fulminatrix_ , Hux found himself wincing when Ben’s anguished cry cut off mid scream.

Hux didn’t need to be Force-Sensitive to know that wasn’t good.

He let his curiosity get the better of him as he entered the room, hearing Snok’es dark chuckling.

“You shouldn’t have fought me so hard, now there’s nothing left of you.” Hux held back his own shudder as he looked down at the Prince of Alderaan, who was convulsing. Ben’s eyes rolled back into his head and foaming at the mouth as he lay limply on the table. Snoke turned his head towards Hux and spoke firmly.

“Tell Captain Phasma to get the Recalibration Machine ready. It’s time our Knights had a Commander.”

* * *

“Rey? Honey can I come-“ Leia froze as she walked into the apartment, it was bare.

Rey was gone.

Leia rushed around the apartment, looking desperately for her but to no avail.

On the bed, neatly folded was Leia’s Jedi uniform and lightsaber with a little note attached.

_Ben once told me that this wasn’t the life he wanted for us, and I don’t want it either._

_Please don’t look for me, I may come back someday, but right now I can’t be here._

_Tell Luke I’m sorry,_

_Rey_

Leia collapsed onto the bed, pressing her hands to her lips as she cried silently. She’d lost them both.

* * *

“Well BB-8, she’s definitely seen better days” the droid beeped sadly as they looked at the old AT-AT, long since stripped for parts.

_You’ll never have to see this wasteland again, I promise._

Rey wiped a rogue tear from her eye and walked towards it in determination, adjusting her pack which carried nothing but her clothes, all of Ben’s shirts and their wedding holo. On her neck, the moonstone pendant glowed a powerful purple, which was Rey’s only consolation. Ben’s Force was still with her, it would never be enough, but she could pretend. She pitched her voice low, throwing her accent as she gripped the pendant in one hand.

“Alright sweetheart,” she imitated poorly.

“Let’s see what we can salvage.”

* * *

Luke stared at the ugly scars marring his chest, he let out a shaky breath as his eyes filled with tears again. He’d only ever seen one person with the power to throw such bolts.

He scrubbed a hand over his face, looking at himself in the mirror as he squared his shoulders. If his hunch was correct, this was far from over.

And Rey would need all the help she could get.

* * *

“Supreme Leader, Recalibration is complete.” Hux looked down his nose at Phasma as she stood motionlessly next to him as Snoke hummed, turning to whisper to the general.

“You’re gunna hate him” Hux furrowed his brows in confusion as Snoke finally addressed the captain.

“And, was he receptive?” Phasma held her weapon a little tighter and cleared her throat.

“Not at first sir, but he came around eventually. I must warn you Supreme Leader, he is quite volatile” Hux balked at her as Snoke grinned devilishly.

“Oh? How so?” Phasma hesitated, and Hux didn’t need to see through her helmet to know that she was shaken.

“He killed the recalibration team sir, all of them. I had to stun him three times to bring him down, apologies Supreme Leader, but he has a scar on his face as a result” Snoke leaned back in his throne, steepling his fingers as he grinned.

“How fascinating. Bring in the Knights, they need to know who their true Master is” Hux snarled as the words, envy coiling in his gut as the Knights were marched into the throne room.

“Today marks a glorious day for our Empire, the most powerful Force-wielder in the galaxy comes to us, a supporter of the Dark Side. The Commander shall be your new Supervisor. You will follow his instruction and his instruction exclusively. Is that understood?” the Knights all nodded, placing a fist over their chests in acknowledgement as Snoke turned to Hux with an unimpressed look.

"Are we ready General?" Hux nodded, gesturing to the Knights who opened up the floor hatch, raising a large beskar tube. They activated the door and a hulking beast of a man stepped out of the smoke, dressed in all black with a haunting black mask over his face. Snoke grinned maniacally as the Knights came to stand on either side of the hooded shadow.

"Welcome to your destiny, Kylo Ren." The masked figure activated his saber and the Knights let out deep shouts, kneeling in front of the man with the unstable crossguard saber who stood motionless, unnerving even Hux.

But under the mask, the tears slid silently down Ben Solo's scarred face.


	4. Chapter 4

_“Okay, so spread your legs a little more, and bring this one forward. Great, now see past the blaster to where you want it to go and keep both eyes open” Rey poked the tip of her tongue out in concentration as she fired._

_Missing the target by a mile._

_“Kriff! Ben I’m no good with this, I’ll just stick to navigation-“ Ben rushed his girlfriend of six months, eyes bright as he shook his head and held up his hands._

_“No, no you’re so close, here, see you locked your elbows and shoulders, so when it recoils your hands jerk up – here lemme show you” Ben stood behind her, moulding his chest to her back as his legs slotted in behind hers, bringing his hands around to cover hers over the weapon as he rested his face next to hers._

_“Okay, so you see where you want to shoot right?” Rey nodded, licking her lip in concentration as she adjusted her grip on the blaster._

_“Now, bend your elbows just a tiny bit and relax your shoulders” Rey murmured the affirmative as she relaxed her body against his, not realizing how tightly she had been holding herself until that moment._

_“Remember to keep both eyes open, ready, one, two-“ they fired together and Rey let out an excited laugh as the target blasted off the wall. She turned to him excitedly and he beamed, pressing a sloppy kiss to her cheek._

_“See! Okay, now you try on your own” Rey nodded, turning back to the second target as she murmured._

_“Relax, both eyes open” she fired again and the target blew away, Ben laughing happily as she flattened the remaining targets._

_“That’s my girl! You’re a damn natural sweetheart!” she grinned and looked at him, turning to kiss him as he embraced her._

_“Amazing!” She smiled against his lips, preening under the affirmation she never remembered receiving before and clicked the safety on the weapon like he’d taught her to, sliding it back into its holster. She gazed up at him and pulled his head down for another kiss, letting him pull her against him in the sun as she felt him murmur against her lips._

_“You’re amazing”_

* * *

Rey jerked awake in her hammock at the memory, eyes filled with tears as she slowly climbed out of bed. BB-8 chirped behind her as he awoke and she smiled at the little droid as she tugged Ben’s red flannel tighter around her.

Rose had put his wedding robes in the casket, as a way to have some physical manifestation of him there. But she’d made sure no one had touched any of Ben’s other things.

Rey still needed to thank her for that.

She buried her face into the soft fabric, inhaling her husband’s scent as her throat clogged, looking out at the dark desert around her.

Without Ben, she never would’ve left Jakku. It only made sense she’d go back to it someday.

BB-8 whirred up next to her as she sat in the cool sand, looking up at the stars.

“He always loved them you know, the stars. He’d say, _sweetheart, if it wasn’t a sin to keep you locked up in a flying tin can I’d never go planet side again._ He never said it, but I think it made him feel safe-“

“They did” Rey started, turning quickly to see Poe walking through the night towards her. He looked awful, dark bags, facial hair and unkept clothing as he smiled at her tiredly.

“May I?” Rey smiled sadly, nodding as Poe dropped into the sand next to her, pulling out his flask and taking a deep swig before handing it to her. She sipped it and looked at him in confusion.

“Is this Alderaanian wine?” Poe nodded and let out a wet laugh.

“It was Zorii’s favourite, what’re ya doin’ here darlin’? Ben’d _kill_ me if I left you here” Rey swallowed thickly as her eyes welled again.

“I needed to get away from the memories, it hurt too much.” Poe nodded in understanding as they shared the flask back and forth. He suddenly let out a wet sniff and Rey looked at him softly.

“I tried to go back for him, I just need you to know that” Rey nodded, resting a hand on his leg as a sob finally escaped him.

“He was my best friend, no one ever gave me the time of day when we were kids, I was just another annoying foundling that got into trouble, you should’ve seen the look on the police’s face the day they caught me stealing in the market and _Prince Benjamin_ stepped in in his five year old glory saying it was _his_ idea.” Rey laughed wetly, envisioning her husband, tiny with chubby cheeks and big ears trying to assert dominance over the New Alderaa police force. Poe looked at her and gave her a wobbly smile.

“I loved him too you know, he was my brother” Rey nodded, tears dripping from her eyes as she ran a hand through his curly hair. He shook his head as he stared back at her, eyes filled with pain.

“I tried _so hard_ to go back for him” Rey cleared her throat and nodded, squeezing his hand tightly.

“I know you did, I promise you I know” Poe nodded, leaning to rest his head against her shoulder as they sat in the dark together, BB-8 silently next to them as they grieved.

* * *

Luke Skywalker would be the first person to admit that he wasn’t perfect, he had failed many times over the course of his life. But no one haunted him as much as the wounded brown eyes of his nephew.

That said, Luke would also be the first one to tell you that his stubbornness rivaled that of his sister.

This was why he was alone on Ach-To, meditating day in and day out. Ben’s soul was missing from the Force, but after a broken nose and a chance to actually think about it, he realized that it truly didn’t make sense. Other than being reserved and quiet, Ben had never given off any red flags of being susceptible to the Dark Side, least of all once he’d met Rey.

There had to be something else, there had to be _somewhere_ else.

And Luke wasn’t going to stop until he found him.

* * *

Hux hated him.

Where Ben Solo had been compassionate, calculating and tactical. Kylo Ren was erratic, angry and volatile. He’d only been on the base for two months and had killed twenty officers in blind rage.

Hux worried that the Recalibration hadn’t taken as well as everyone believed. But no one listened to him anymore. Not when First Order Commander Kylo Ren was storming around like he owned the place. Snoke was thrilled over the whole thing and the Knights were more merciless than ever. Hux should be thrilled.

He was miserable.

He watched as the TIE silencer docked and the masked man stepped out, not acknowledging any of the workers in the area as he descended on the General. Voice haunting through the modulator.

“Why did you call me back, I almost had that blade.” Hux didn’t flinch, instead turning and walking away from Ren in the way he knew he hated.

“Snoke ordered you back, you’ve been here a month, it’s time for your medical check-in, protocol and all that” Hux only stopped when the stomping behind him did.

“I am in excellent health, I don’t require a check-in” but the voice wobbled slightly, and Hux was glad he was nervous.

“Too bad, I had mine this morning, you’re not excused _Commander_. Now go check in then you go back out for your fairy tale relic” Kylo snarled and clenched his gloved hands into fists. The gloves Hux knew he wore to hide the fact that he secretly still wore that pathetic wedding ring. Ren turned to the nearby technician and growled.

“Keep my ship prepared, this won’t take long” with that, he stormed off to his quarters, Hux grinning darkly at the tension in the other man’s shoulders.

By this time tomorrow, he was sure that ring would be long gone.

* * *

The AT-AT was quiet, Poe’s soft snores in his own hammock as the two slept. He’d refused to return to New Alderaan without her, stating that he’d promised Ben he’d keep her safe, and he couldn’t do that on the other side of the galaxy.

Rey knew it was as much for him as it was for her, their only true link to Ben being one another. And Poe had already lost Zorii. She rolled over in her own hammock, relaxing under the black cape which had become her blanket when there was a shift in the energy around her.

Just like five years ago.

_"Rey?"_ The widow snapped awake at the voice in her head, lurching up in her hammock.

"Ben!?" She lunged for her lamp, BB-8 whirring in confusion as she looked around the old AT-AT, Poe stirring in confusion. Her heart stopped at the sight in front of her.

Ben was standing in her kitchen, his hair straggly and clothes torn and filthy, he had a long scar marring the side of his face and was covered in cuts and bruises. She fell gracelessly off the hammock and half crawled towards him as he stared at her in awe.

_"Rey-"_ she went to hug him, tears streaming from her eyes and suddenly stopped short. He wasn't blue.

"Ben, wha-"

_"Where are you!? Are you safe!?"_ She nodded, looking around the AT-AT and letting out a wet laugh.

"You don't recognize it?" Ben's eyes clung to her face, committing every part of her to memory.

_"I don't see anything. Just you"_ Rey froze as realization hit her.

Ben was projecting.

He was _alive_.

She schooled her emotion as best as possible.

"Tell me where you are!" She cried out desperately, reaching out and grabbing his shirt. It felt different, like it was tangible but not, and little bolts of lightning ran up her arms as she clung to him, his arms immediately going around her. She remembered this feeling from the first time their Dyad had connected him on New Alderaan and her heart soared.

_"I don't know, I don’t remember anything, I’ve been on this base – I don’t know – they call me Ren and I don’t understand. I’ve been trying to contact you for weeks, I think they’re going to do whatever it was again"_ She could hear the bubbling panic in his voice, the inability to fully understand what had happened to him. Why his memory was gone, why he had a new name. She couldn’t imagine how scared he was.

It was so much worse when she realized that _no one_ had been looking for him.

Rey nodded, burying her face into his chest as he rested his cheek on her head. Hoping her embrace could help calm him, it wasn't the same, he wasn't warm, she couldn't feel him breathe. But he was there.

_"You're safe right? You got off the Finalizer alright!?"_ His eyes searched hers desperately and she nodded.

"I'm going to find you Ben, I promise" Ben looked at her, eyes wide as he nodded.

_“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re going to find – they’re coming for me – I don’t know if I’ll be able to – I **love** you, don’t forget that okay!? They call it the Starkiller Base. I love you Rey” _Rey nodded, grabbing his face and leaning into him as her eyes filled with tears.

“It’s okay, I love you too, I’ll find you Ben, I’ll bring you home okay? No matter what I find” Ben nodded, swallowing thickly and looking over her shoulder as the connection suddenly cut off.

She looked up and Poe was staring at her, already dressed.

“I don’t know what just happened, but where are we headed?”

* * *

Ben broke the connection as the Troopers arrived at his door, schooling his expression to hide the anguish of his breaking mind. He knew something was wrong.

And from his wife’s haggard appearance in _his_ shirt, it was clear he’d been missing a while. He hoped Poe was with her, or his parents. He didn’t want her alone.

He schooled his expression and squared his shoulders as the Troopers came in, Captain Phasma front and centre.

“Apologies for the interruption Commander Ren, but I’ve been asked to personally escort you to medical” Ben slid the mask back over his face before he turned, nodding curtly and striding out of the room. He already knew where he was going.

Phasma never took higher ranking officers to medical.

She took them to Recalibration.

He sat down calmly in the large chair, removing his mask and taking the bit they gave him so he didn’t bite his tongue. The large apparatus encircled his head and he relaxed into the seat, closing his eyes and envisioning Rey’s face.

If this was the day Ben Solo finally died. He was damn sure it would be with a smile on his face and his wife’s image in his mind.

He was so focused on her memory he didn’t even hear the machine switch on.


	5. Chapter 5

The entire Council jumped in shock as the doors to the chamber were blasted open, Rey storming the room, eyes ablaze as she activated a bright yellow saber.

Her own saber.

Leia gaped at her with wide eyes as she charged into the room, Poe storming in behind her looking lethal.

But Rey was on _fire_.

Dressed in her black tactical pants, boots and black undershirt, her leather jacket which she had jokingly bought to match Ben's on their first job flapping slightly with the breeze caused by the speed of her entrance.

Amilyn stared at her as she strode into the room. Finn and Rose quickly trailing as BB-8 herded them in with rapid beeping.

“Lady Rey, what is the meaning of this!?” Poe looked at her and nodded in encouragement.

“Ben Solo is alive” the chamber erupted as Leia collapsed, Kaydel catching her as she went down.

* * *

“He contacted me through our Dyad three days ago. He’s confused, he has gaps in his memory and they’re calling him a different name.” Han was staring at her with wide eyes as she spoke, Poe crossing his arms and nodding.

“He says they’re referring to him as _Kylo Ren_ , based on that we can only assume he’s the new one leading the Knights.” Amylin looked at them.

“How? How could Senator Solo _not_ be aware of the horrible damage he is inflicting!?” the council all muttered in agreement and Finn stepped forward nervously.

“I think I can answer that one. The First Order looks for Foundlings because they’re easier to groom – but I’ve seen them take adults too. They’ll torture you until your mind fractures, then they send you for Recalibration. They essentially fry your brain and input false memories to turn you against your own,” Finn hesitated and glanced at Luke apologetically.

“It’s easier do if there aren’t many happy ones” Leia looked away and Han stared at his daughter in law.

“So where are we headed?” she smiled darkly as the pendant on her neck glowed a vibrant purple.

“Ilum”

* * *

“Be with me, be with me… be with me” Rey meditated on their bed in the Falcon as Han and Chewie led the charge towards the Starkiller base. She could feel Ben’s energy faintly through the Force, but it was different, damaged in a way she’d never felt.

It felt raw, unhinged. If she didn’t feel the heartbroken thrum underneath it she’d block the horrible presence altogether. She could tell he could feel her, but he didn’t recognize her, didn’t know what it was pulling at that little place in his mind.

She hoped she wasn’t hurting him. He’d already been in so much pain.

Finn had explained how they fractured someone’s mind at Han’s insistence, tone borderline desperate as he begged to learn about his son’s fate.

He’d barely refuelled the Falcon before taking off. Poe leading a squadron of X-Wings behind them.

There was a knock on the door and she looked up at Luke slowly entered the room. White robes in his hands.

“I don’t want Leia’s-“

“They’re not Leia’s, they’re yours – made from Ben’s old robes” Rey reached out, gently taking the Jedi fabric in her hands as she looked at him. Luke slowly sat down next to her, looking at her intensely.

“Never fear who you are Rey – that was a mistake I will regret forever” Rey looked at him in confusion and he sighed.

“What I mean is – we’ll get him back, no matter the cost” Rey bit her lip to bite back her tears as she nodded.

“I know we will” Luke looked at her softly and she rested her head on his shoulder, whispering softly as she held the fabric.

“Because I won’t survive anything else”.

* * *

Hux gasped as Ren led the charge against the rebel group on Sullust. He hadn’t seen the Commander since his second Recalibration, having the Force-wielder put in Solitary until they could confirm that it had worked.

It was very clear it had.

The screams of agony appeared to egg him on as he sliced through another fighter with his unstable kyber, successfully bringing the last of them to their knees. Hux schooled himself into a mask of impassivity as he approached him.

“Well, that was messy.” Ren turned sharply to him and Hux could hear the modulated growl under the mask.

“You wanted it cleared, did you not?” Hux conceded with a tilt of his head as the Knights flanked Ren’s either side. The General noted with a sour expression that it used to be him they flocked around. Now it was clearly Ren who held their loyalty.

He _hated_ him.

“I can handle it from here, you’re required back at the base – some Resistance member they need you to probe for information.” Ren sighed and turned quickly, stalking towards his TIE Silencer as they Knights watched him leave before turning to Hux impassively.

“Well? What are you standing around for, _get to work_!” the Knights slowly began to disperse and Hux swore under his breath.

He would’ve been better off with the Scavenger.

* * *

Rey tried to swallow her fear as she walked into the base, she knew Poe would be livid that she’d snuck away from her landing party. But she wasn’t stupid, there was no way they would just let Ben Solo wander around unattended, not when he was such an escape risk.

Then again, he told her he didn’t know what she’d find.

She held her saber tightly in her hand as she turned the corner, letting out another shaky breath.

“How can a ship so big be so em-“ suddenly an all too familiar sound echoed behind her and she barely turned the corner in time to block the angry red saber coming at her. She stumbled back and parried the looming black figure who rushed her in a deadly manner. The two fought violently for several minutes before Rey found herself knocked into the wall, her attacker gripping her tightly around the neck and lifting her off the ground as she gasped.

“Answer my questions and I’ll give you a quick death. Tell me what you know Scavenger” the voice was modulated but something in the voice pulled her tightly in her chest. She clawed at the hand around her again and gasped as the word began to replay in her head over and over again.

_Scavenger._

Suddenly, the modulated voice gave way in her mind to a deep, sleepy rumble.

_“Scavenger – now sleep.”_

_“I love that you’re a scavenger.”_

Her eyes widened in dawning horror and she abandoned her grip on the gloved hand to grip the mask, the man gasping as the helmet fell to the floor.

_“Ben?”_

The scar was even more horrible in person, the angry gash sliced down from his forehead to his chin, she was amazed his still had his eye. Speaking of his eyes-

They were completely lifeless.

She watched as something flashed quickly in his dark eyes, lower lip quivering as his hand loosened minutely. He lowered her to the ground almost tenderly and she stared up at him as her eyes filled with tears. He looked exhausted, even paler than normal as he raked his eyes over her face in confusion.

“Who are you?” Rey’s world ground to a halt in the hallway of the ship.

* * *

Poe was manic as he ran through the ship, firing almost blindly as he hunted for Rey and Ben. His priority was Rey, as per the orders from his friend so many months ago. But his heart couldn’t help but flutter in the hope that his brother was still alive – was still able to be saved.

“Rey?! Re-“ Poe’s heart fell into his stomach as he turned the corner, Rey’s discarded saber and black mask.

Whatever happened, it wasn’t good.

“Rey?!”

* * *

“Ben, Ben honey look at me. Please, it’s me it’s Rey” Rey didn’t struggle as he dragged her into the room. She didn’t struggle when he locked her into the large metal chair.

But she couldn’t help but lurch away when the giant helmet and mouthguard came into view.

“ _Ben,_ darling it’s me, Rey, your sweetheart – remember me?” he turned to her sharply and snarled.

“Do _not_ speak to me, worthless Scavenger. You are nothing, it’s only your information I need.” Rey stared at him wide-eyed as he raised a gloved hand and the familiar, warm presence of his bond was suddenly burning and hot as she let out an anguished cry. She could feel her nose starting to bleed as he viciously tore through her mind. He looked at her coldly and sneered.

"There's no point in struggling, you know I can take what I want" his loving brown eyes were flat as he stared down at her, Rey blinking her tears away as the gloved hand moved up next to her temple, leaning down next to her ear.

Rey closed her eyes tightly as tears slid down her cheeks. She'd heard from Finn how they'd broken Ben, the tactics they’d use. How he'd locked away all his thoughts of her and his family to keep them safe, and how the strain of trying to fight off Snoke at the same time had snapped him in two. How it had been easy to Snoke to fill his mind with horrors and twist every mistake he'd made into something perverse and wrong. Combined with constant Recalibration.

Ben never stood a chance.

She looked up at him with her tear stained face, pinning him with her gaze as her chest heaved against the pain of him ruthlessly rummaging through her.

"Y-you don't have to be so hard, I won't fight you" he hesitated and she bit her lip, desperate to get through.

"I'd never fight you Ben" she closed her eyes again and dropped all her shields. Feeling the rush as her estranged husband invaded her mind again. She showed him everything.

She remembered the night on Hapes, when he'd gotten drunk and clung to her, telling her how much he loved her to anyone who would listen. She remembered him cradling her face on Tatooine after the Tusken Raiders had ended up being a problem.

She remembered him spinning her under his arm on their wedding day, singing lightly into her ear. The way his eyes has welled in excitement when she said she was ready for them to start a family. She remembered every single _I love you_ they ever pressed into each other's lips and skin over the past five years.

She remembered how the aching in her chest had finally disappeared on Jakku, when Han had dropped the ramp of the Falcon and he had been standing there, scooping her up and promising that she'd never have to see that awful planet again.

She let him feel the all-encompassing anguish that had engulfed her when they believed him dead, how she'd cried herself hoarse to the point her throat had bled. She made him endure her violent fight with his uncle, how she'd blindly attacked him in rage because she needed to feel something. How she'd finally been able to harness her power enough to realize that he wasn't dead. The horror she felt when she realized it was actually so much worse.

She shoved it all at him, no editing or order, just raw emotion and when she opened her eyes her mind was silent. Ben pushed far in the corner as he could fit his hulking body. The tears were streaming silently down his cheeks and she could see how he shook. He looked so lost. She swallowed thickly and whispered softly.

"Has anyone ever told you that you have galaxies in your eyes?" She said them with conviction, remembering every single time he'd said those exact words to her. His mouth fell open like a fish and he snapped the restraints open, Rey sitting up slowly as he looked at her in shock.

"Ben-"

"You don't have much time, Scavenger. I suggest you get as far from this planet as possible." With that, he turned sharply on his heel and rushed from the room as she watched him go, a heartbroken sob escaping her.

She wasn’t enough to bring him back.


	6. Chapter 6

Kylo barely made it into an empty conference room before vomiting all over the table, he couldn’t stop shaking, in fact he could barely hold himself up.

She had been so devastated.

He didn’t understand, who was this mousy little thing that felt so strongly? He saw into her mind, he knew her memories were true. But they weren’t _his_ memories, he could never have been the tender being in those images. He was _Kylo Ren_ , protégé to Supreme Leader Snoke, Commander of the Knights of Ren, the most feared man in the entire First Order.

He was no smuggler, even less so a _prince_.

She was nothing to him, an enemy of the Order, a threat to his power. Little more than a blemish on the face of the world he planned to build.

Then why had he let her go?

He activated his lightsaber in fury, destroying the table and the nearby walls as he cried out in rage. She was nothing, _nothing._ He was a fool for letting her go, for his lapse in judgement, he should have killed her. He was weak, a child, he should have killed her, should have run her through with his saber, should have-

_Held her._

_Taken her away from this dark place._

_Never let anything bad happen again._

Kylo roared and smashed the control panel in the corner of the room, eyes blurring with tears. His head was pounding, his eyes spotty, he felt disoriented. He needed to regain his control, he couldn’t give her the satisfaction of his turmoil. She didn’t know him, it had to be some sort of trick.

It was likely that despicable Luke Skywalker’s doing.

Kylo sighed heavily as he looked through his matted hair, slowly righting himself and deactivating his saber.

He needed to know their plan.

* * *

“We can’t just _leave_ him here!” Poe was screaming as Finn attempted to drag him back to his seat, Rey sitting catatonically next to Han as Chewie led the squadron of fighters back out of Empire Space. Han looked at her with wide eyes.

“You’re sure he didn’t recognize you?” Rey nodded as a tear fell from her eye, tightening her hands into fists.

“I’ve seen him mad, what he’s done to others. And I’ve never been afraid until this moment” she looked at her father in law with heartbroken eyes.

“That wasn’t Ben, it’s something else. Something _dark_ ” Han shook his head, muttering ‘no’ to himself under his breath.

“I don’t believe it – I’m sorry, but I can’t believe my son is gone. He _let you go_ Rey, he let you go. That doesn’t sound like an Empire War Dog to me. No, my Ben’s in there, we just need to find him.” Rey looked at the older man, wishing desperately that she could believe his words as he spoke. Leia looked at him sadly as Luke stepped forward.

“Han, we always knew this was a possibility – the darkness in him has always been ther-“

“And he _never_ submitted to it! Even as a child, he fought this – this _thing_ inside his head he barely understood! And when he needed _us_ Leia, what did we do?! We shipped him off to be someone else’s problem. I should’ve stopped smuggling, you should’ve taken a step back from the Senate. We should’ve been goddamn _parents_! But we weren’t, and you _Master Skywalker,_ you gave up on him before he walked through your damn temple doors! The only people here who _haven’t_ failed him is Rey and Poe. So what right have we got to tell them to sit down and shut up!? I’m not giving up on him, not again!” tears were falling freely from the old man’s eyes as he glared down at Luke, the two men unbudging as Leia wiped at her own eye. Han inhaled wetly and spoke in a cracking voice.

“We didn’t even go back for his body. This is on us, and I’ll bring my boy back even if it kills me – and I’ll do it with or without you” Luke swallowed thickly as Leia murmured gently.

“I’m with you, we’re all with you” Han turned to Poe, who’s shoulders were set in determination as he stared down the trio.

“What’s our plan Commander Dameron?” Poe smirked darkly and rolled his shoulders.

“We blow that hunk of junk out of the sky, and bring that giant home kicking and screaming if we have to” Rey stood and ignited her saber.

“Chewie, notify all units we’re changing course – we’re going to Crait”

* * *

_“Wait! Ben wait, wait stop! Stop for a second!” Ben turned around drunkenly as his equally tipsy girlfriend fell against the wall of the alleyway. They were on Coruscant and after having a successful run had decided to go out to one of the many clubs._

_They’d been having a good time until someone had taken far too much of an interest in Rey – which had resulted in a comedic fistfight and their subsequent expulsion from the bar. Rey grinned up at him as he stumbled up to her, allowing her to tug his hand and bring him even closer._

_“You didn’t have to hit him”_

_“He shouldn’t have touched you like that” Rey’s smirk softened and she rested a hand on his chest._

_“He didn’t hurt me or anything” Ben tried to blink the whiskery out of his eyes, wishing he was more sober so he could be more believable as he pressed her further into the wall._

_“Just because it doesn’t hurt, doesn’t make it okay” Rey hummed and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, leaning up onto her toes to kiss him passionately, feeling his own moan echo deep in his chest._

_“We’re so drunk” he chuckled against her as they rested their foreheads together, his ebony hair falling around them like a curtain as he smiled softly. It was a smile he knew was coined just for her, complete with dimples and crinkled eyes that he’d never shown anyone else. She beamed up at him with sparkling eyes and he rested his large hands on her hips._

_“So drunk” he murmured, pulling her back in for another kiss, the bass from the club pounding through the wall as they stood in the alleyway, making out like the drunken, carefree lovers they were._

* * *

Kylo jolted out of the memory and immediately brought a set of mental shields down around it. He couldn’t let his Master see his weakness, the longing that was pulling in his chest to _go home_.

But he didn’t have a home.

He pressed his hands against his head, trying to rid himself of the doubt when a ripple in the Force drew his attention back to the room around him, immediately activating his lightsaber as the scavenger appeared before him.

She was dressed differently, in black leggings and a green flannel that mocked the edges of his memory. He took a step back from her, crouching into a defensive position as she looked at him with heartbroken eyes.

_“Don’t be afraid, I feel it too”_ he locked his jaw as she slowly reached out her hand.

_“I won’t hurt you, I promise.”_ Kylo pointed his flickering crossguard at her and glared her down, pitching his voice low to hide how much it shook.

“I told you to leave” the brunette nodded, sad smile crossing her face.

_“I know, to protect me. You always protect me Ben-“_

“Don’t say that name! Ben Solo is dead!” she shook her head and swallowed thickly, eyes still filled with tears.

_“No he’s not. My love wouldn’t leave me like this”_ Kylo snarled and lunged towards her.

“Leave me!” Rey cocked her head to the side and hesitantly stepped forward, mindful of the weapon pointed at her.

_“Are you still getting them – the headaches?”_ he looked at her and her heart broke at the thinly veiled fear in those honey-brown eyes.

_“And Vader – do you still hear him too? You used to be so scared when you’d hear him. You’d cover your hands over your ears and curl up in this tiny ball and just yell. I never knew how to fix it, all I could do was hold you and wait for it to be over”_ Kylo suddenly felt flashes through his mind, images of him curled up in various states, begging something to _go away_ as the woman fluttered around him, stroking his hair and peppering kisses to his skin as tears of desperation fell from her own eyes.

“Who are you? What do you want with me – I’ll give your pathetic Resistance no mercy you know this” he tried to keep his voice even, tried to hide the growing doubt and fear in his chest. He sensed no dishonesty in her words, but Snoke had warned him that the Resistance was not to be trusted.

After all, his own mother had turned her back on him for it. Who was to say no one else would do the same?

_“My name is Rey, I was a scavenger on Jakku – an orphan, a nobody, nothing-“_

“But not to me” the words fell from Kylo’s lips before he had a chance to stop them, and he looked up at her in shock to find her smiling encouragingly.

_“Yes, exactly. We met about five years – well, actually six – ago. We fell in love, and we got married last year on New Alderaan. We were Smugglers”_ Kylo studied her before growling out in a low tone.

“If we were so _in love_. How did I end up here?” her smile wobbled and she squeezed her eyes shut as tears fell from her cheeks.

_“It was my fault, I didn’t listen to you and I got captured. When you came for me – because you **always** come for me, there was a battle on the ship and we couldn’t get away. So –so you fought them off so your father and I could get to safety. We thought – we thought you died, so we held a memorial and I went back to Jak-“_

“How could you hold a memorial if you didn’t have my body?” He’d meant it to mock, but at the gutted look in her eyes a cold realization began to fill him. He lowered the weapon and smiled ruefully.

“Because you didn’t go back for it, you never looked for me” Rey’s image let out an angry sob and she stumbled towards him.

_“If I’d had even the slightest idea – I was so sure that – I’m so sorry Ben! I let you down when I promised I’d always be there, and you needed me and I wasn’t. please, please just come home – I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to fix this-“_ she stopped short at the cold stare her estranged lover pinned her with, his eyes dead in a way she’d never seen, even when he’d had her trapped on the Starkiller Base.

“Seems to be a running theme with your Resistance, turning away from people who need you most,” Rey sobbed and reached out to him again.

_“Ben, Ben **please** -“ _but Kylo raised his weapon again and forced her back.

“Why would I be stupid enough to return to pathetic cowards like you, when I can have the galaxy at my knees? You’ll fall, and so will your petty Resistance. Be warned, _Rey the nobody_ , the next time I see you death will be a mercy I shall not grant.” With that he stormed from the room, unsure of what would happen to the connection but hoping that she would become an unpleasant memory.

* * *

Rey fell to her knees in Leia’s chambers, sobs racking her body as Rose fell next to her.

“What happened?” Rey pressed her forehead to her knees as she heaved, lacing her fingers together behind her head as though shielding herself from a blow.

“He hates me, he won’t come back – he’s right, it’s my fault. _Why didn’t I go back for him_ ” she fell into another bout of wails as the others looked at one another in horror.

Ben knew who she was, and still refused to return. It didn’t make sense.

Luke sighed and looked at them.

“I told you he was too far gone” suddenly Poe piped up from his seat, grabbing at them desperately.

“No, _no_ he’s not. He’s a lost kid! Don’t you get it?! None of us believed in him, not when he was a kid – not when he started hearing those voices. When he _saved_ us. He doesn’t think he’s good enough, we didn’t let him believe he was. he’s getting something from Snoke, I don’t know validation or praise _something_ that makes staying there alluring. We just have to get him home and prove to him that we need him, that he’s _good_ ” Poe looked around the room, but no one would make eye contact with him except Han.

“I can’t give up on him Han, not again” Han nodded, clearing his throat.

“I’m not kid, I’m with you” Rose looked up from where she was comforting Rey and nodded.

“Me too” Rey said nothing, but if the tight squeeze she gave Rose’s hand was any indication, she wasn’t giving up on him either. Not again.


	7. Chapter 7

Crait was a complete wasteland. Rey never did well on wasteland planets, and often joked about how she probably had some form of prejudice based on her time on Jakku.

Ben had never joked though, and every time they’d have to go for a run on such a planet he’d hold her hand a little tighter, stand a little closer. He made them a little less scary.

And as she sat on the small cot in her quarters thinking about how much she missed him, she was shocked when he suddenly appeared.

“Ben!?” the figure looked at her in confusion and she fought every bit of her body screaming to grab at him. He swallowed thickly and she tried to regulate her breathing.

“H-here, have a seat” she gestured to the bed next to her and he slowly sat down, Rey could cry at the familiar sink of the bed.

_“Why is the Force connecting us, you and I?”_ Rey smiled, blinking a tear from her eye as she reached for him, stopping short and nodding at his hesitation.

“It’s called a _Dyad._ Our Force’s intertwine into one – we’re soulmates” she smiled up at him again and he looked at her with wounded eyes. She reached over to the table and scooped up her pendant, holding it out to him.

“See, its purple, both of our kybers blended together” Ben stared at it emotionlessly, then slowly he looked up at her.

_“So I’ve always been a monster”_ his smirk was cold, and Rey was determined to bring the light back into those eyes as she lunged over, Ben’s comfort be damned as she grabbed a gloved hand tightly.

“No, never! You’ve been beaten and broken and _betrayed_. But you’ve never been a monster- you’re Ben, you’re _my_ Ben. And I need you to come home” he searched her face for a moment, soft lips in a pout as he gazed at her.

_“Tell me where you are. I’ll come home”_ she smiled but then froze at he stared at her with his honey-brown eyes.

His lifeless honey-brown eyes.

Rey froze as she began to realize that he was playing her, that this wasn’t her Ben.

Her Ben never talked of _home_. It was always ‘our place’ or ‘my parents’. He’d openly admitted to her that the closest he’d ever felt to a home was the Falcon. That as far as he was concerned, she was home.

_It’s Rey and Ben, deal?_

“Ben, what do you call me?” he furrowed his brows as she looked at him with heartbroken eyes. He tried to crack a smile but it was foreign on his lips and Rey noticed it immediately, barraging him with another question.

“What do you think of my eyes?” Ben swallowed thickly and turned to her.

_“You’re my love of course, and I think your eyes are beautiful”_ Rey let out a cry of frustration and got up from the bed, hugging herself as she turned away.

“Get out” Ben stood, his temper beginning to shine through as he advanced on her.

_“Tell me where you are!”_

“No!” the two squared off in her room and Ben activated his saber, Rey activating her own.

_“What are the plans of the Resistance?!”_ Rey slashed at him and let out an agonized wail.

“Get out!” with that she broke the connection, hugging herself and crying as she fell back onto the bed.

She couldn’t see him again, her resolve was gone.

* * *

Luke looked down at his saber with heartbroken eyes. He glanced up at Leia as she moved to sit next to him.

“Do you think we should tell her?” Leia shook her head.

“No, she’s already worried enough, we can’t have her off her game anymore than she already is” Luke nodded in agreement and looked back down at the saber.

“When he comes, I have to face him Leia. I’m the one who created Kylo Ren, I should be the one try to destroy him” Leia pulled Luke into her arms, stroking his hair comfortingly.

“We all had a hand in this, don’t blame yourself. This is as much my fault and Han’s as it is yours.” Luke laughed wetly and nodded against her shoulder as they sat in his quarters.

“Just don’t let him kill you” Luke snickered and kissed her forehead lovingly.

“Don’t worry, I won’t”.

* * *

“General Hux, we’ve found a signal on Crait” Hux rolled his eyes as Ren shoved passed him, eyes wild.

“Is the Scavenger there!?” the officer stepped back nervously and began shaking.

“W-we don’t know Commander, we just know there appears to be a base there” Kylo straightened and side-eyed Hux.

“Prepare my Silencer and my Knights, General Hux, set the course for Crait” Hux snarled as Ren stormed from the bridge.

“You can’t tell me what to do!”

“Just get it done!” Hux growled as Ren left, turning to the officers in fury.

“Well? Set course for Crait!”

* * *

Rey looked up as she heard the commotion outside her door.

“Finn? What’s going on?” Finn doubled back from where he was running past the door.

“It’s the First Order, they’ve found us!” Rey looked at him with wide eyes and stumbled over herself in the doorway, grabbing her saber as she followed him down to the mouth of the cave where the base was located.

“How did they get AT-ATs here!?” she screamed, looking out as a line of metal beasts crested the hill, kicking up the blood red sand as they all came to an eerie stop, TIE fighters hovering around them ready for battle.

Poe took a hesitant step back and gasped quietly.

“We don’t have a chance” Rey felt a faint tug on her heart and slowly turned to watch as another TIE came in from the side, coming to land in front of the AT-ATs and slowly opening.

“ _Ben”_

* * *

_Ben_

He ignored the sharp stab of pain in his chest as the Scavenger’s soft voice echoed in his mind. Even if her words before had been true, that she’d once loved him, it didn’t matter now.

Kylo Ren had a job to do.

He approached the entrance of the cave, stopping halfway between the First Order fleet and the mouth of the cave. He stepped forward again, only this time he signalled to the AT-ATs to follow him, hearing them firing up their weapons.

If they didn’t want to come to him, he’d go to them.

And he’d leave no survivors.

“I have to go out there!” Leia grabbed her arm and shook her head.

“No Rey, it’s too dangerous. We need to evacuate” Amilyn and Poe both stepped forward.

“We don’t have enough time to get everyone out of here-“

“Unless someone hold them off” the eyes all turned to Luke as he stepped forward with a resigned look in his eyes.

“I’m going out there, start the evacuation” Leia grabbed at her brother as Han looked at him sadly. Luke looked over her shoulder at the taller man and nodded.

“I won’t kill him. You’re right, this was my fault. I have to fix it” Han went to argue and Luke held up a hand.

“You keep everyone in line here” the two shook hands firmly and Han whispered softly.

“Thank you” Luke nodded, and with that the Skywalker exited the base alone, lightsaber in hand as he approached the young boy with the tortured soul.

“Hey Ben”

* * *

How dare he. _How dare he_ come here! That _Skywalker_ , with that smug smirk and arrogant look in his eyes. Wielding that same saber he’d threatened to kill him with.

Kylo’s blood boiled.

_“Ben Solo is dead. I killed him, forget the name!”_ he activated his own saber in fury, hearing the unstable kyber splutter and crackle as it came to life. It always burned his hands, Hux suggesting gloves was the only useful thing he’d ever done in his entire life.

Luke gazed at the young man with sad eyes.

“No he isn’t, I can see him in your eyes” Kylo roared in fury, body shaking in rage as she advanced on the older man.

“I’m sorry Ben, I’m so sorry for everything” Kylo brought the saber down in fury, Luke barely dodging the blow.

“ _Shut up!”_ Luke’s eyes filled with tears as he blocked the attack again, refusing to hit his nephew.

“How’s he doing?” Rey looked at Poe with devastated eyes, clinging to Leia’s arm as the General spoke softly.

“He’s weakening, Luke can’t hold out much longer, how’s the evacuation coming?” Poe shook his head desperately as Amilyn looked at him.

“We won’t have enough time, we need another plan” Amilyn squared her shoulders and inhaled deeply through her nose.

“I’ll cover your escape after Skywalker falls” Poe, Rey and Leia all gasped at her. Leia grabbed her old friend by the arm and the two shared a look as Amilyn spoke softly.

“This is my choice, the Resistance must survive, Kylo Ren must be destroyed and Prince Solo saved. It has been an honour old friend” Leia smiled at her tearfully and nodded as she held her hands tightly.

“Then I’ll be on the last ship out, I’ll stay as long as I can” Amilyn smiled in gratitude and moved to the cannon at the entrance.

“You heard me Commander Dameron, get those ships out of here” Poe ran back as Leia grabbed Rey’s hand.

“We’ll go together okay?” Rey nodded as tears slid down her face, watching her husband radiate fury.

* * *

“You needed me and I let you down, you needed me to believe in you and I wasn’t there-“ Kylo slammed the saber towards him again with a cry that echoed across the plain.

“I said shut up!” Luke looked up at him with sad eyes. He was so tired, and there was so much pain in those eyes.

“Don’t let your anger with me take over your soul Ben, think of your mother. Think of your _wife_.” Kylo brought his crossguard down again, knocking Luke to his knees as his saber flung across the crystal field. Luke looked up at the boy with a soft smile.

“It’s okay, Ben it’s okay.” Kylo glared down at him one more time as he raised his weapon over his head.

“Now you will die as you lived, alone and pathetic” Luke looked up at the brown eyes, remembering them on a child’s face, so desperate to be loved and relaxed his shoulders, accepting his fate.

“Always remember Ben, you can come home. _Come home_ boy” Kylo snarled, chest aching and vision swimming as the man who’d brought him so much anguish dared to look at him and _smile_.

“No one will remember you, you _failed_ Luke Skywalker” Luke sighed as the final blow was delivered. His last memory being that of a child with unruly dark hair excitedly showing him his new calligraphy set.

* * *

Rey let out a screech as Kylo cut Luke down, causing the Commander to turn sharply. The sound piercing through him like its own blade as he spun around to lock eyes with her, the sudden memory of those same heartbroken eyes falling into his arms stampeded into his memory unauthorized.

_“You can't leave me Ben, I can't lose you too!"_

He felt himself stumble back with the force of it, Rey staring at him from her position at the mouth of the cave the Resistance as hiding in. Staring at him even as he heard his AT-ATs and fighters roar to life. He suddenly felt very small in his hulking armour, and for a moment he allowed himself to just stare into those deep brown orbs that haunted his dreams and cling to the galaxies he saw in them-

_“You have galaxies in your eyes”_

* * *

Rey sat in her seat on Poe’s smuggling craft, Leia was sitting silently in the co-pilot’s seat, undoubtedly recovering from the blow in the Force which would have accompanied her brother’s death.

Rey curled even more tightly into herself, replaying the words over and over in her head.

_You have galaxies in your eyes._

It had been said so softly, so subconsciously. It reminded her of when he would roll over in his sleep, curling around her and murmur her name into her hair like she was breath in his body. So unaware of the words.

There was no way they’d been a ploy.

Despite the grief at the loss of her Master, Rey couldn’t help the small smile that crossed her face. She looked out at the stars and whispered softly.

“I see you Ben, I’ll find you”.

Luke was gone, Han was off grid and Amilyn Holdo had fallen. But in that moment, she felt something she hadn’t felt in months.

Rey Solo felt hope.


End file.
